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The cold hard reality is that it shouldn’t take a celebrity, being abused before Domestic Violence becomes an important issue. Domestic Violence has been around since the beginning of time. If you think about the behavior of the cave man clocking his woman over the head and dragging her hair, that barbaric action should have been a true sign of Domestic Violence and how insignificant the feelings of a woman has meant to a man since the beginning of time. With this being said, Domestic Violence affects men, women and children. Victims can be sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, friends, or neighbors. Domestic Violence can be inflicted in so many ways, whether it be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual, the fear that holds its victims hostage is real. Sometimes you see, bruises, scars, or dismemberment. Sometimes you can’t see the physical scars, but you notice the behavioral changes in an individual that’s been abused. They will pull away at even the idea of being touch. Victims may not be able to hold a conversation around a topic related to their family and relationships with particular members that may be abusing them. Roommates can also be party to domestic violence relationships, as long as you are living together in the same place when the abuse occurs you are considered to be in an abusive situation.
The reality is, there just haven’t been enough every day people willing to put themselves out there to the proper authorities, when they are abused. Sometimes they will get so far as to go into the police department to press charges then refuse to follow through and testify. Domestic Violence kills it is no joke and there is often no coming back from your injuries. All victims must understand the importance of getting out of the situation quickly, but safely. Let as many people know and trust as possible about what is going on in your situation so that the authorities are more apt to be able to help you when and if the need arises.
If you end up having to move to keep yourself and/or family members safe, make sure not to share information with people you don’t feel you can trust, especially those who may have had a close connection to your abuser. Change your normal returns so that your abuser can’t keep track of you the way they did before. This might sound scary, because it is, but it will keep you safer in the long run. Just be aware of your surroundings at all times.
The most important piece of advice I have for you is to seek domestic violence therapy. It truly helped me and changed my life for the better. If done properly it can help you live a life with much less fear and learn skills so that you don’t find yourself in a repeat situation. Unfortunately, life gives us no guarantees we have to do our level best to make sure we find ways to make things function the way we feel we need them too. Thereby ensuring we have the best tools to do so.
The internet is a great thing, we now have access to more information than ever before from the comfort of whatever place we want it. Take advantage of it. There’s no excuse. When you are strong enough and safe enough, find a way to help others get stronger and we will be one step closer to ending this horrendous infestation of violence.
Please note: This write up is purely my own opinion based on my personal experiences and based on what I’ve seen as I went through my own process. I’ve read many articles, attended many groups, spoken to and advised many other women and a few men based on my experiences.
The Cold Hard Reality of Domestic Violence©
By Felina Silver Robinson