Daddy, I Miss You©

johnny-with-wife-doreen

Daddy, I Miss You©

Copyright 2016

By Felina Silver Robinson

I was young when this man walked into my life and took my mother’s hand.

He brought a light to our lives that had been missing for some time.

He too had been through plenty.

Miles away from the place he knew as him home.

He now stood proudly on Nebraska ground

I soon became proud call him my father, which eventually meant everything to me

Some time passed

There came a day that felt off in every way

The sun was shining but the heat from the sun couldn’t warm me

My friends were telling jokes but the laughter couldn’t make its way out of my throat

I returned home for the day and my mom and dad sat me down

I knew something was wrong

The looks upon their faces was one I hadn’t yet seen

The words that came from their lips just couldn’t be true

I heard something about HIV/AIDS, those words were so big to me

I didn’t want to hear whatever came next

But I sat and I listened

I could feel the stinging from each tear that poured down my face

As if acid had been thrown at me

I started to think about days gone by

Full of carefree laughter

I remembered our first hug

The first time I called him dad and

The tear it brought to his eye

Then I heard the worst news I could ever heard never be the same

I had days, weeks, maybe months left

To spend a lifetime with my dad

How could this be happening?

How would I, How could I

Fit it all in?

My life would never be the same

The man I came to call daddy

Slowly began to whither away

Second by second

Moment by moment

Hour by hour

Almost to the point that he was unrecognizable

This was not how I wanted to remember him

But as we all know

We can’t always get what we want

Daddy fell frailer than an elderly man

His hair drastically changed

Looking better than it ever had

He seemed so at peace with it all

Accepting of the hand that had been dealt him

He wanted to right all the wrongs in his life

Visiting family, friends and loved ones

To give a final goodbye

Must of them unaware of his pain and torment

The pills

The pricks

And the prodding

That prolonged his days

Allowing him closure

His final days

He lay wrapped in the comfort of his sheets

Swaddled like a newborn

His mother by his side

My tears flowed continuously

It felt like the beginning of the end

As he closed his eyes and slowly slipped away

From all those that loved him

I still found myself begging the good lord

Not to take him from me

Each day I still find that I’m lost looking for him

Thinking of him

Wishing he were still here

I love you daddy

This poem was written for my niece Lestie, I love you. Stay strong!

 

2 Comments

  1. I’m lestie this is my story in the words of my beautiful gifted auntie felina she is amazing to feel my heart yet so far away she new… It’s like she was rite there with me this whole time I Love her her family they each taught me so much but the best gift they ever gave me was the feeling of being loved… Thank you for taking the time to write this auntie I will cherish this forever… God bless you love your neace lestie ann

    Liked by 1 person

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