Me and my body©

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

When I was young, I was a toothpick. The only problem I had was an oversized backside. Boy did the guys have fun teasing me about that.

Being a toothpick was great because it helped me be a faster runner on the track team. There weren’t many sports that I wasn’t a part of. Every sport I was a part of was better off because I was skinny. Especially ballet.

I became plagued with anorexia from my freshman year in high school through the birth of my only son. Once my three youngest came along with all my various other health ailments the physical appearance of anorexia quickly slipped away. It’s sad how medication changes a body. But no matter how hard you try, the emotional part of anorexia will never leave you.

Now that I’m older, my body works three times as hard to keep up with me. Arthritis, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, degenerative bone and disk disease, and the list goes on. You can’t let that stop you, you just try to keep up and stay on top of life. You want and need things to appear as status quo.

When I lay my head down at night I remember an old episode of The Twilight Zone where an old couple saves up their money to use a machine that allows them to go back to a younger, healthier version of themselves. The husband uses the machine but the wife decides to stay as she was. I often wish I had access to the use of that machine at a price that I could afford without selling my soul and every worldly possession. However, we all know the likelihood of that wish coming true, therefore, I’m stuck in this time, this moment with this aging body of mine, fighting the good fight to stay alive. Despite it all, every single moment has been worth it.

Me and my body©

By Felina Silver

©️ December 2024