Praise is not something I ever thought about or wanted. But to be noticed and thought about was something I longed for.
Looking in the mirror constantly ended in disappointment, as I always found myself turning away in disgust with my own reflection.
The other day sending one of my daughters a selfie, I viewed my snap saying back at my reflection “boy you are actually kind of pretty”. In my lifetime, I had never said those words to or about myself. Every pictured I ever saw myself in I said I was ugly.
The next day, I was visiting my mother. There was a moment where she was just looking at me. I asked if everything was ok. She said “yes, I was just looking at how pretty you are, you are beautiful.” I started tearing up inside myself. I quickly held my chest saying back at my mom “awe, thank you, you are so sweet.” She smiled back at me with one of her trademark giggles. We both just sat there for a few minutes smiling back at one another.
When I got in the car to drive home, I told my husband that was the first time my mother had ever told me that I was pretty or beautiful.
Beautiful; I Always Wanted to Be©
By Felina Silver Robinson