The dinner table was set, dinner was on simmer, suddenly there was now a chill at the nape of my neck as I sat in his favorite chair. The doorbell rang, I struggled to stand. I slowly walked to the front door, I could feel the pressure of the tears explode onto my face as I peered through the peephole on my front door and saw two officers in blue. I don’t remember it happening, but they say I fainted and my heart stopped briefly. I woke in a hospital room with my children at my side. The doctor came and told me that my husband was gone. He told me that he didn’t suffer as the impact was swift. Instantly, I found every memory of him flashing before my eyes. Tears continuously flowing down my cheeks. The kids covering every and any open spot on my hospital bed. Racing through my head are thoughts of what he must of have felt in those last minutes, seconds of his life. I can’t even begin to imagine. Now, I’m faced with life without him, i’m not sure I can bare it.
Home now, all the kids have finally gone to bed for the night. I’m left to stare at his pillow, sniff his clothes and look through every picture we ever took. Tonight will be a sleepless one. Tomorrow, I will put one foot in front of the other and try to do all the things he’d want me to do. Strength will become my new partner. Hope will be what I hold onto as I mourn the loss of my dear sweet love.
Mourning the Loss©
By Felina Silver Robinson